mooBlog 27-9-2010: Something from a while back

This is something I wrote months ago, but never had the guts to post it then:

It's the best feeling in the world.

With a warm embrace and kisses, truly to believe is the best.

But, I'm grateful. You've made my whole life a whole lot easier.

A strong desire.

I'm extremely lucky. Being part of the spectacle, enjoying the bubbles.

Us sleeping, safely soft and unseen.

Sleeping and resting at one, with the folk I love best.

"What if we went to a nice place for dinner? Singing and dancing until we have peace within."

Life's mystery is discovering the test,

the gorgeous girl has given me a lot of hope.

Life is still a little bit hectic and mental, but love is the way to arrange the cure,

leading into an unknown world.

We can only imagine.

mooBlog 25-9-2010: Reminiscence of Impassiveness

Words tumbling, lime green hills rolling deep into the south,

to the forest surrounding it all, where ghosts knot through.

Where the old man sits, watching pleasantly,

as the lumberjacks hack away at the trees he planted when he was a young man.

Worlds falling, sweet perfume breezing hazily through,

to the dwellings sparsely skulking, where ale runs deep.

Where the young soul scratches at his arms,

waiting for the memories of repentant periods to drift and depart.

You’d better learn to glide along,

So you can fall gracefully.

Grab a fucking tissue, kid!

mooBlog 15-9-2010(a): the long road

"Take the long road and walk it
Take the long road and walk it"

What the fuck just happened?

mooBlog 15-9-2010: the good thing about having no friends

"Its funny how they say you only know what you have got when it is gone
Its not that funny in this instance, cause I knew all along
I'd give anything to have you back have things the way they were
Cause I feel empty, I feel pissed off, I feel pansy, I feel hurt
Yeah I know that your not dead, your just an sms away
Isn't it depressing, that sms'ing can make someone's day" - Los Capitanes

*Fuck*

mooBlog 11-9-2010: Trimming the Fat

I guess if you've read my last few blogs, plus my other visual blog, you'd now know that I've been having a few relationship problems. After only a short amount of time, I've fallen hard for my girl. She knows it, and that's where the problem arises. I've exploded in terms of emotions. Alas, it's now the crossroads for this chap.

Do I fight, even though it's more likely to push her away indefinitely? It's out of my hands anyway. I've got no option but to allow her to have space. If only I wasn't so attached to her. If only I'd played this one cool, then maybe, just maybe, I'd have had more of a chance at success.

What would I do if after this 'break,' she doesn't want me? I've not considered it, but it's a definite possibility. The thought that someone else could make her happy makes me feel inadequate, yet I'd prefer her to be happy, so I've got to let her figure it out.

Perhaps this is some form of karma, making up for the positive things that had come out of this. Either way, I feel a bit empty, knowing that after the next time, I may never see her again. I can't believe that loving someone could push them away. I hope I'm not right, but I can only think of the worst-case scenario. These WCSs have governed my mind for so long. I guess I need to stop thinking that way. It only leads to asking for choices and presenting ultimatums.

Fuck, it's going to hurt, this break, but she's trimming the fat from her already overloaded life, and I've just got to cop this one sweet.

I'll let you know how it works out.

mooBlog 6-9-2010: Midnight Snack

Tonight I'm at my computer even though I went to bed over two hours ago. My mind (and stomach) got the better of me, and I rose from the warmths of my bedsheets to converse with a computer keyboard. If only it would answer back, then perhaps I wouldn't feel so alone.

It's interesting how quickly life's highs turn themselves on their heads. I always presumed my morals and ethics would be the last thing that anyone would find unattractive. I guess it all comes down to delivery. How could I explain that I am compassionate, when clearly I reacted like the bigots whom I claim deserve nothing but indifference. Perhaps I wasn't prepared and was simply caught off guard. How then, now, can I make them understand that when I apologize I actually mean it. Do I come off as someone who doesn't understand what sincerity is? Once again, I thought that my sincere and sensitive traits would never be my weak characteristics.

But I love her, so I continue to apologize. Sometimes I might miss the mark a little... I'm only a man, and a stubborn one at that. In that regard, however, know that I won't back away from love. I know that it's turning into an uphill battle. I dropped my shield a long time ago, so you must realize how unbelievably scared I am. I'm not gonna give in.

"Eam amo quod consistere nescio"