mooBlog 15-7-2011: The music on the shuffle is becoming a pattern (oh) I don't know what that is.

Sometimes, when I'm sitting on the train, on the way to wherever it is that I am going, a song will play on my shuffle that pretty much changes my day.

This happened this morning, with two songs coming on one after the other. The first was "Empty Cans" by my favourite artist, The Streets. I thought I'd share the videos for the two, but realised that "Empty Cans" doesn't have a video. However, some brillo person made a Lego stop motion video interpretation, which is pretty wicked.

So there I was, all melancholy about the most ridiculous of things, but thought that instead of going down the path of self-loathing (again), I'd choose the path of self-loving. Was already feeling much better about life by this point.

The next song that came on was this.

And by the end of the song, I was almost embarrassed that I had gotten to a point where a song like this was needed to turn shit around for me.

Thanks Mike, thanks Robert.

mooBlog 10-7-2011: Oh, the walls we build!

Everyone has their walls. Some people scream and shout. Others have more hidden methods, showing only what they need to in order to ensure their cards stay close to their chests. It's the reason why I say 'hmmm' when I'm know what I want to say would be interpreted wrongly. It's the reason I become defensive in words and aggressive in manner whenever someone offers an opinion that differs to mine. It's not a good thing at all. It's cost me a lot over the years. The thing is, I can personally see the faults in my personality. I have seen the way people react. Every single time I have to look closely at myself, and I say, "I will never do that again!" But, every time, I do it again. And I've had to watch people walk away from me because of it.

I guess what I'm saying is that everyone has their walls to defend their insecurities. I wish I didn't, and that I could say what I need to when I need to. Nevertheless, I'm left with, at the very least, knowledge of the path forward. I'm not talking about changing who I am, just how I am. I know I probably will get lost again, but at the very least I have hope that it won't happen.

I like this one coz it's fitting

mooBlog 29-6-2011: The present (is a gift)

This song, to me, is still amazing and inspiring. The chorus makes me feel more at home in my own skin every time I hear it. "I came to this world with nothing, and I leave with nothing but love, everything else is just borrowed."

Has to be a sign not to dwell on that which can be taken away, but that which we have now. Tomorrow is an uncertainty, but today is real.

The clip is pretty chilling too. Heart goes out to all the families who due to the financial crisis have had their homes taken.

Ode to bad behaviour

I spend too much,
I smoke too much,
I worry too much,
I stress too much,
I drink too much,
I procrastinate too much,
I think too much,
... or do I?
I talk too much,
I walk too... infrequently,
I eat too much,
I stare too much,
I yell too much,
I sleep too much.

I bite my fingernails...

mooBlog 26-4-2011: Your Anger Is A Gift

Yesterday we rallied outside the Maribyrnong Detention Centre. We sang, yelled and screamed for two reasons. One, to make our voices heard, so that the Australian govt. might finally finish locking up refugees. The second reason, is to give hope to the refugees inside. For them to know that we are fighting for them, that they are welcome here, well, maybe it'll give these innocent souls a reason to carry on in the face of such inhumane treatment. This morning, while nursing my wrist (which was battened by police while I was trying to tie a ribbon to the fence,) I wrote a poem. I'd much rather it was lyrics, but I can neither sing nor play an instrument, so it'll stay as a poem. It's not too in depth, but hopefully you get the point.

Your Anger Is A Gift (Title taken from the song "Freedom" by Rage Against the Machine)


How would you feel
being locked up like veal,
and treated as an animal?
Detaining refugees is criminal.


Ol' Swanny says it's insensitive
to set alight these camps.
But their treatment gives no incentive
To submit to their sordid clamps


We gotta get to grips with this situation.
The pigs bring the battens to every demonstration.
"That'll teach these lefties!" is the forces cry.
But your brutality gives us more reason  to defy!


And what is the crime these refugees have committed?
Absolutely nothing, so they shouldn't be incarcerated.
They're just fleeing the bombs out own government drops.
No wonder we hate these pollies and their fucking cops.


So the time has come,
for us to draw the line,
and fight for the voiceless,
and free them all,
body and mind.


For more information about what's been happening with regards to mandatory detention in Australia, here are some good links:

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/1526231/Bowen-cracks-down-on-asylum-seeker-rioters

http://www.youtube.com/user/ten#p/u/15/SDR_Fy06QkU

http://sa.org.au/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=6863:refugee-supporters-rally-in-sydney&Itemid=453

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/protesters-push-for-change-on-detention-rules-20110425-1dtsh.html

If you want to contribute to the campaign, you can check out the Victoria branch of Refugee Action Collective @ http://www.rac-vic.org/

Or shoot me a comment and I'll happily reply.
And remember:


"With poetry I paint the pictures that hit
More like the murals that fit
Don't turn away
Get in front of it" - Rage Against The Machine

My green apple infused Schmirnoff vodka intoxication is revealing to say the least. I've gotten half way, and all I've found is self-loathing. Not that weak, oh-nobody-likes-me-i'm-gonna-eat-some-worms kinda loathing either. I'm talking about slaughtering bouts of hopelessness. Is there really a cure for that. I doubt that alcohol is the answer, but it definitely is the cheapest medicine.

I'm left with not much but a few melting ice cubes and dry eyes after pushing back tears for hours. Seriously, I thought I was doing fine. One glimpse, that's all it fucking took. One fucking glimpse, and I was right back in September, wondering how it all went so fucking wrong.

Tonight, though, I need/needed a friend. I went through my phone book. Seriously guys, I felt that I couldn't relay this shit to anyone in there. What the fuck does that say? Trust. I cannot trust people anymore. So you know what I'll do? I'ma get fucking drunk and sit in silence. At the very least no-one will see my sniveling, pathetic tears.