TUMBLING TUMBLING

I've got a tumblr. http://moo-101.tumblr.com/

Might not be posting on this much more... Been a pleasure! xo

mooBlog 18-7-2011: Coughing it all up...

I've decided to quit smoking again. I have no assumptions that it'll last, but I certainly do hope so. Even over the last few days I've been feeling a lot better (despite the frequent withdrawals.)

So I've decided to do a blog, a bit of self-inspiration. I want to list myself, the reasons why staying off the smokes is a good thing.

Here we go.

1. I save money. This is a pretty big thing. Since I quit my job about two months ago, I've been struggling financially, so stopping smoking will help me to at least make my budget stretch further. I may even be able to improve on my diet of mi goreng and dim sims.
2. I won't stink. Funny how when I'm smoking I love the smell of a cigarette. Today, walking around, every time I encounter the odour of smoke, I'm repulsed. I can't imagine how I smell when I'm off being a full-on chimney.
3. I save time. Funny, it's not something that I've thought about a lot, but in hindsight, it's pretty true that smoking actually takes up time. For me, sometimes that's the attraction; when I'm bored, wating, etc, it is very easy to just light up. Today though, I was working at uni. Instead of having to take a break every 60 to 90 minutes, sometimes for up to 10 minutes, I'm able to get a hell of a lot more done in the same amount of time.
4. Fitness. The day after I stopped, I realised that it was the first day that I hadn't woken up coughing in a long time. Although I've got a long way to go, my renewed (albeit a little minimal) energy levels have allowed me to start doing things I really couldn't be fucked doing before. For instance, I've been for a skate for the last two days. About eight or so months ago, I bought a skateboard, and after using it only once, I haven't even touched it since. That is, until the other day, when I was bored, full of energy, and wanted to finally get around to getting a skill that I've longed for for over a decade now. (Funny how when I get to the age where most people would stop trying to do new things, I take them up.)
5. I may even lengthen my life. This will be a good thing. I'll get to spend more time with my friends. I'll get to have more years to fight the system of capitalism. I'll have more time to travel, write, draw, explore, read, design and simply live my life.

I'm excited. Writing this made me all tingly inside. I feel so much better about life now, I can't wait for tomorrow!

mooBlog 15-7-2011: The music on the shuffle is becoming a pattern (oh) I don't know what that is.

Sometimes, when I'm sitting on the train, on the way to wherever it is that I am going, a song will play on my shuffle that pretty much changes my day.

This happened this morning, with two songs coming on one after the other. The first was "Empty Cans" by my favourite artist, The Streets. I thought I'd share the videos for the two, but realised that "Empty Cans" doesn't have a video. However, some brillo person made a Lego stop motion video interpretation, which is pretty wicked.

So there I was, all melancholy about the most ridiculous of things, but thought that instead of going down the path of self-loathing (again), I'd choose the path of self-loving. Was already feeling much better about life by this point.

The next song that came on was this.

And by the end of the song, I was almost embarrassed that I had gotten to a point where a song like this was needed to turn shit around for me.

Thanks Mike, thanks Robert.

mooBlog 10-7-2011: Oh, the walls we build!

Everyone has their walls. Some people scream and shout. Others have more hidden methods, showing only what they need to in order to ensure their cards stay close to their chests. It's the reason why I say 'hmmm' when I'm know what I want to say would be interpreted wrongly. It's the reason I become defensive in words and aggressive in manner whenever someone offers an opinion that differs to mine. It's not a good thing at all. It's cost me a lot over the years. The thing is, I can personally see the faults in my personality. I have seen the way people react. Every single time I have to look closely at myself, and I say, "I will never do that again!" But, every time, I do it again. And I've had to watch people walk away from me because of it.

I guess what I'm saying is that everyone has their walls to defend their insecurities. I wish I didn't, and that I could say what I need to when I need to. Nevertheless, I'm left with, at the very least, knowledge of the path forward. I'm not talking about changing who I am, just how I am. I know I probably will get lost again, but at the very least I have hope that it won't happen.

I like this one coz it's fitting

mooBlog 29-6-2011: The present (is a gift)

This song, to me, is still amazing and inspiring. The chorus makes me feel more at home in my own skin every time I hear it. "I came to this world with nothing, and I leave with nothing but love, everything else is just borrowed."

Has to be a sign not to dwell on that which can be taken away, but that which we have now. Tomorrow is an uncertainty, but today is real.

The clip is pretty chilling too. Heart goes out to all the families who due to the financial crisis have had their homes taken.

Ode to bad behaviour

I spend too much,
I smoke too much,
I worry too much,
I stress too much,
I drink too much,
I procrastinate too much,
I think too much,
... or do I?
I talk too much,
I walk too... infrequently,
I eat too much,
I stare too much,
I yell too much,
I sleep too much.

I bite my fingernails...